Memories...

I have a picture of my son that was taken in the hospital when he was first born and that brings me so many memories of emotions! Of course, it is my precious as gold memory, because there is nothing that I treasure most in life than my son.  That specific moment in time changed my life for the better, and I could not of asked for a better miracle.  But the picture also reminds of how scared I was, never in my life had I ever felt so terrified before.  I was about to become a mother, I was only 18 and was going to be responsible for another life, it was petrifying.  Many thoughts crossed my mind:  What if I held it wrong?  What if I could not get it to stop crying?  What if I just wasn't a good mother?  What if, what if, what if...the questions of terror were endless.  This also was by far the most painful memory in my life.  Most of you who are mother's know exactly what I am talking about, OUCH!  What made it worse was the nurses were concerned that my little body frame was not going to be able to deliver an 8 pound baby natural, and they were certain I was going to need a cesarean.  I was scared out of my mind because I have a pain tolerance of zero, and then they're telling me they want to cut me open? No!  But lucky for me I was able to deliver without ever having to get cut open.


This picture means so many things to me and brings back so many memories that I know I will never forget.